Are You in Your Right Mind? (or Left?)

sidesofbrainWhen I was about to marry my first husband, we were given a Myers-Briggs personality test by the priest who was to marry us to predict our compatibility.  I do not recall what the results were, but I seem to remember a look of disappointment? (or maybe fear?) on the face of that priest.  Since I have already said that he was my first husband, you can guess how things worked out.  Now, I am not saying that a standardized test or left/right brain thinking differences can predict the success or failure of your marriage or even how a couple will work through a divorce together, but stick with me. I recently attended an all day workshop geared toward collaborative divorce professionals that centered upon a whole brain theory.  We have all heard about right/left brain thinking, but this theory is that there are four quadrants of the brain and that each of us has a personality that (mainly) falls into one of them. Each quadrant essentially has its own style of thinking about things or approaching a problem. The upshot of the workshop was that if you can understand that we all come from a different viewpoint, we can communicate (or help others communicate) in a more effective way.  For instance, a Logical thinker may walk into my office with a stack of papers full of facts and figures and a Creative thinker may have many ideas about a long term approach and not be concerned with the paperwork at all.  Each of my clients has approached his or her divorce in a different way.  Some are organized, some are scattered.  Some want to argue, some just want peace.  Some are long term thinkers and some are concerned about today and next week.  This is actually good news, because in a collaborative setting, different viewpoints and strategies are not only welcome, but are essential.  The bottom line take away from this workshop for me is that divorce professionals can always learn more and add to the toolbox of strategies to help our clients reach agreements that will work for them now and in the future.

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